Randomness
by XRobina
Summary: ALLEN GETS KIDNAPPED! crazy randomness with lots of humor. :D WARNING: KANDA TORTURE
1. Chapter 1: Haha

Chapter 1: Haha

Chapter 1: Haha.

Robina stepped into the classroom uncertainly. Hurriedly, she rushed to her seat. She didn't want to get in trouble with the principal again. Shinn poked her. "You and the rest went off early yesterday. What happened?" Robina rolled her eyes. She couldn't believe that Shinn couldn't remember.

-flashback lol-

Jae Ri was colouring her nails. Kanako was drawing. Robina was vandalizing her desk. Athrun was listening to his ipod.

"That's IT!" Natsume yelled at the class. 'I can't teach 'Elements' anymore! I've had it with you guys!" A burst of fire appeared in his palm.

Robina sat gangster style. "'Cher! We know you're cute and all, but you can't expect us to seriously listen to a ten-year-old kid right?"

Natsume's eye colour changed. He sent fire flying in Robina's direction. Just as she was about to fight back with fire, a sudden zap of ice froze the flame.

"Shinn, I know your element of ice is really powerful, but you don't need to show off!" She said, glancing at Shinn. He smirked.

"Ah ha! Use of power without the teacher's permission. Everyone is sent to the happy home opposite the school! Mwahahaha!" The principal said, bursting in. "Everyone except Shinn. He's coming with me."

--

-At the home-

"What am I doing here? I didn't even do ANYTHING!" Kai Yin complained. "I shouldn't be here!" Sakura(not from card captor whatever you guys watch.) whined. Ruka let himself fall onto the squishy floor. Sighing, he imagined animals surrounding him.

In another room, Jae Ri was going swirly-eyed. The room was covered in TVXQ! Posters. "Jae Joong!" She started to chant. "Jae Joong…Jae Joong…" Kanako was getting pissed off. "Shut UP!" She screamed. Athrun closed his eyes and wondered what Shinn was doing.

In the third room, Robina was rocking herself. "Bwahahaha…" She muttered. Natsume had a crazed glint in his eyes. "Mwahahaha!" He began to laugh. Allen was crying. Their combined laugh-cries reached the other rooms.

"Hey, did you hear something?" Athrun asked. Kanako nodded. "It sounds kind of familiar… Like its Robina's insane laughter or something." She added.

Sakura stopped whining. "That sounds like Allen kun!" She exclaimed, smiling.

--

Natsume burned through his straitjacket and Robina froze hers and pushed. It cracked. "WE'RE FREE!" They yelled. Robina took out a cannon from her pocket of wonders. She blasted the walls of the other two rooms.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Uh oh.

The guard burst in with his pet alligator. "STOP.STOP.ROLL." He said, throwing a bomb at Kai Yin. Apparently, working at a nut house had side effects. Athrun saved Kai Yin in the nick of time.

"What the hell were you doing to my friend, butterfly princess?!" Robina yelled at the guy.

He gasped. "DON'T CALL MEH GIRLY NAMES!"

"Cupcake." (Robina)

"Sweetheart." (Athrun)

"Pumpkin pie." (Sakura)

"LEMON PRINCESS!" (Jae Ri)

"STOP!" The guard cried. He dropped down to the floor and cradled his head.

"Come on! Let's run before he's untraumatized!" Robina yelled. "Yeah, and we must use different ways to escape!" Jae Ri added.

Jae Ri poked her side of the wall. She began to sing opera versions of TVXQ! Songs. They were so out of tune and loud that the wall cracked. She ran out happily.

"My turn!" Kanako screamed. She unleashed a swarm of dangoes to eat another part of the wall. The wall got eaten(!) and she glided out.

Amidst all the commotion, Athrun simply leaned against the wall. He fell and was safe. As soon as she saw this, Sakrua rushed over and yelled "BOOM!" while running out the hole. "Hi-five! We got out with the same hole!" Athrun said, laughing.

Kai Yin danced around. Suddenly, she was transformed into a bunny! She talked bunny talk and got a bunch of mutant bunnies to kick the wall down. She was free.

Natsume set the wall on fire and Robina simply bombed it.

-end of flashback-

"And that's how we got out!" Robina said, smiling.

Shinn wiped away the anime sweatdrop that was stuck to his face.

Lavi burst into the room.

"WHERE THE HELL'S ALLEN?!"

-end-

Robina: Look out for the next one!

Kanako: I wrote it.

Sakura: LOL! This is so funny.


	2. Chapter 2: Let's go save Allen!

Chapter two: Let's save Allen

Chapter two: Let's save Allen! by Kanako

The whole group, disgruntled, tired and cranky, didn't exactly know where the hell Allen was. For all everyone cared, he could rot in Woodbrigde. But due to the hysterics of Sakura and Lavi, they had no choice but to get back into that hellhole to save Allen.

Oh, and at that moment, Kanda and Lenalee fell from the sky and dropped on Robina and Kai Yin. Oh, sure Lenalee was light, and thus Robina didn't suffer that much damage. Poor, poor Kai Yin though, nearly had her ears sliced off by Mugen.

"Che," Kanda mumbled grumpily, "So we've been called by that little moyashi to save him. Looks like his dumb 'subconscious mind' and feng shui works. Damn, I hate admitting it."

"If you had actually not spent hours in the bathroom braiding your hair…" Kanako started. Too late; the sharp edge of Mugen was pressed against her neck.

"Che. Shut up."

(Robina: OOH! Cute little drawings, Kanako! Kanako: Baka, you're running the story line.)

He drew Mugen back. Ah, but alas, to get revenge, Kanako sent a dango to paint his sword and clothes a nice bright shade of pink.

Lenalee snickered, much to Kanda's chagrin. Oh, and to make things worse, Ruka had set his bunny on Kanda's head to complete the 'gay' look.

"Randomness aside, let's go rescue Allen," Natsume said, getting irritated.

As the group walked into the mental hospital, the automatic doors shut behind them, and it was shut tight, with no way of escaping.

"Ohoho! Welcome back to this madhouse!" said a cheerful voice. No – Chorused.

Shinn facepalmed. 'So, we're stuck in this hellhole again,"

"Che," Kanda mumbled. He looked… awfully happy in pink.

"Anyway, to save that Allen Walker, you must pass 300 stages."

The whole group nearly fainted.

"Kidding. There are 5 stages. I'm the Earl of Millennium, by the way," the voice continued.

And it till then, someone pointed out an oxymoron.

"Can't Allen save himself with the Crown Clown?" Kai Yin softly mumbled.

The whole group groaned in agony.

-end of chapter two-


	3. Chapter 3: The meeting of Shie xD

Chapter 3: The first stage

Chapter 3: The first stage! :X The meeting of shie. Written by Shie

Kanako: I realize that our chapters are really short.

Robina: Uh huh. This one might be longer though.

--

"No he can't…" A voice echoed through the room. A figure of a girl slowly surfaced through the darkness that engulfed the room.

"What do you mean by 'he can't'?" Robina asked, startled by the stranger's sudden appearance. "Like I said, he CAN'T use his innocence at this moment!" She hissed back.

"Che. Who are YOU anyway?" Kanda muttered under his breath, just enough for everyone to haer. "I'm nobody yet somebody…" She replied curtly.

"That does NOT answer my question. One last chance for you. WHO ARE YOU." Kanda said, looking pissed at the ambiguous answer given to him. After all, Kanda doesn't like not knowing anything, and his questions not answered. R: LOL!

"Are you deaf or something? I said, I'm nobody yet somebody."

"You better answer before your head rolls off your neck."

"Just try."

Kanda snapped. He charged forward into the darkness, drawing Mugen out of its sheath.

"Heh."

"What?!" Kanda asked, surprised at the sudden smirk that the girl gave him.

She disappeared into the darkness, fading away with a sinister smirk.

"Bad move. Oh yeah, I think you're the 'Kanda' he was talking about…"

"What are you talking about? Who's 'he'? Don't tell me…" Kanda said, stopping in his tracks.

"Allen Walker." The both of them mentioned the name of a certain white haired exorcist.

Robina: It's so obvious who's writing. The handwriting's different, the style's different and the… level of English vocab is different too.

Kanako: Um, Robina? You're typing out from the notebook. No one can see the handwriting.

Kanda: Che.

Robina: … -rolls eyes-

-cut scene!-

"What do you think they're doing?" Robina asked, curiously peeking into the darkness from time to time.

"Maybe they're making out?" Lavi mused, until a flying drop kick from a certain blunt object (dango! XD) landed on his head, sending him flying, knocking into a very pissed Natsume, falling on him.

"What do you think you're doing?!" Natsume hissed angrily, as flames started to shoot at Lavi.

"Whoa! Chill!" Lavi screamed, as he dodged the flames.

"I wonder if he'll be alright…" Lenalee asked Kai Yin, worried about Lavi.

"Ah He'll do fine." She replied, chuckling.

-back to battle-

"What did you do to him?" Kanda asked, looking REALLY pissed.

"Nothing." She replied curtly, with a blank face.

"Well, be prepared to die then." Kanda said, charging towards her.

"Come try."

Suddenly, the girl stood straight, stopped in her tracks, and fainted. Shocked, Kanda went over to her cautiously, instead of charging forward. As he turned the girl around, he checked her pulse and carried her back to the group.

-back at the group-

"Wow! Hot chick you got there!" Lavi exclaimed excitedly. R: zi kua! (eng: self proclaim. LOL!) Shie: I'm just writing what over people said about me.

"Che. She's the nobody yet somebody." Kanda said, laying her down not-so-gently.

Immediately, her eyes flew open and she stared at everyone around her.

Kanda smirked and unsheathed Mugen, charging towards the girl seated on the floor, sword in hand.

But something happened, which completely, utterly and wadeva word meant it, SHOCKED HIM.

R: Man, your English is terrifying. Haine: … -prepares to stab-

"What happened?" She cried.

Big pearl-sized tears rolled down her cheeks as she trembled in fear. "Aww…Kanda Yuu! HOW COULD YOU TREAT SUCH A CUTE GIRL LIKE THAT?" Lenalee screamed at Kanda.

R: zi kua. H: -shut up.

Shocked, he could not retaliate.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." The girl kept mumbling. "She came out again, didn't she?"

"What do you mean 'she'?" Lavi asked, curious.

"My other self. I'm Shie. She's Haine. If I'm white, she's black. If I'm nice, she's mean. If I'm sad, she's happy…But she's a really good person. Please forgive her…" She said.

"What? So you mean there's two yous?" Kanako asked.

"Actually, there's more… To name a few, there's Haruki, Hitomi and Heika. They're sub characters…"

"Wow, she's complicated…" Lavi whispered to Kanda.

"Hey you! Continue the fight! You coward!" Kanda shouted, pointing Mugen at the girl's face.

R: Hmm… There may be serious abuse of exclaimation marks here. K: Shut up before she kills you, you baka.

"No! I can't! Only 'she' can!"

"Che. I. Don't. Care."

-End-

Robina: Well Shie, this chapter is seriously scary.

Shie: I like to drag stuff.

Robina: Vernice told me that Kanda seems… I don't know… I forgot the word she mentioned.

Shie: ? I don't really mind.

Kanako: So, who's wrote the next chapter?

Robina: -flips page- OOH, ITS ME!


	4. Chapter 4: the 1st stage haha

Robina: Before we start, I'd like to say that this chapter's stage… was pretty "easy" to complete

Robina: Before we start, I'd like to say that this chapter's stage… was pretty "easy" to complete. Easy in the sense that… well. We just had to do one thing. Ha.

START!

Natsume burned the end of Kanda's hair. He laughed evilly. "Woo! Go Natsume!" Shinn yelled, throwing his fist into the air. Robina shook her head and put out the flame.

"Nice to meet you, Shie." She said, offering her hand. Shie gladly took it.

"Haha! I see you've made a new friend." A voice boomed.

"The earl!" Everyone shouted.

"That's right! –insert heart shape here- Your first task is to run 20 rounds around that track over there. A pretty simple stage, no?"

"Oh crap."

--

"This is madness. MADNESS, I tell you!" Lavi whined.

Kanako shot him a look. "Shut up! We'll never finish this if you keep talking…"

Just then, a blue-green haired boy ran up to her. He wore a white Fila cap and had hazel eyes.

"This is nothing. You should see what my captain makes us do."

Robina's eyes lit up. "Are you Echizen Ryoma? What are you doing here?!" She asked, grinning.

"Apparently, I got lost and I wound up at some random school. I was supposed to have an exchange program or something." He said. "And the guy whom I PRESUME is the principal told me to come here. He also mentioned something about running tests on Shinn."

Athrun rolled his eyes. "I seriously question that guys sanity." He muttered.

Kanda, Sakura, Shie, Lenalee and Kai Yin were racing with each other. "Ha! You're damn slow for an exorcist." Sakura puffed, running past all of them. The rest narrowed eyes.

"Sakura chan," Shie said in a surgary voice. "Prepare to die."

Kai Yin hopped over Sakura's shoulder and overtook her. Kanda took out his Mugen and tried to slice Sakura in two. Lenalee rushed forward and used her dark boots.

"Damn, they run fast!" Shinn sighed. Suddenly, they felt themselves being lifted into the air And they dropped onto something soft.

Robina leaned back. "How soft!" She smiled contentedly.

Kanako stood up and smiled crazily. She had that crazy glint in her eyes.

"ONWARD MY LOVELY DANGOES!"

"Dango? Allen loved dangoes…" Lavi said, patting the giant dango he sat on.

-chomp- "Wow, they taste nice too!" Shinn exclaimed. –insert random drawing of King Dango here-

Kanako started crying. T.T

--

"WHAT?! I mean, like wow. Great job. OO" The guy with the funny funny umbrella said.

Kanako: Can you actually write stuff that people understand? Robina: -shakes head- It's impossible, Kanako kun. Kanako: I'm a girl. Robina: I'm being creative!

A door opened and ta da.

"Onwards." Robina muttered, walking into the next room.


	5. fluffy ponies, rainbows, flowers NOT

Robina: Our dear Kanako wrote this chapter

Robina: Our dear Kanako wrote this chapter. –glomps cardboard Kanako-

The next room… well, wasn't exactly what they had expected. It was brightly lit; rainbows stretching over the background and huge candies forming the landmarks of the room. It was huge – too huge to fit into the whole building. It almost seemed like… an illusion.

"Your next task is to defeat my god-moding friend down there. Good luck teehee!" The earl vociferated.

"Welcome to my ethereal dreamland," said a small, childlike voice. The group looked up, and was met by a little girl. Her eyes were a hue of deep crimson, and she had long black hair that grew until it touched her waist.

Her seemingly childlike features did make her look innocent; but she was lethal. Her sweet smile twisted into a sadistic and crooked one.

"Now, ready to die?" she chortled with bemusement. "Weaklings; feel my wraith!"

Shinn got pissed by her attitude, launching a jet of ice. It was, of course, uneffective.

"Ehehe… Dangoes are useless here, now if you excuse me, I shall stand one side…" Kanako cheerfully said, after seeing Shinn nearly get strangled by vines crawling up his neck.

"Idiot; don't try to run away from this battle! Don't use your dango power; use your REAL power!" Robina mused.

"Oh, I have one?" Kanako said, tilting her head to a side.

The group echoed on, "She has one?"

"Okay, fine," Kanako replied grumpily, "are you guys ready for the battle? Seems like the girl is getting impatient."

Everyone nodded.

"Okay – Shie, do you have a power to fight?"

"I can steal powers of those within my vicinity and combine them," she replied.

"Fine. So, um, I'll still be standing at the side anyway, backing you guys up. Its pointless if everyone attacks and no one defends or boosts. I'm counting on you all to protect me."

"Che, just get on with it." Kanda mumbled.

Kanako raised both her hands above her head. She parted her lips, and began a hymn.

"En exec HYMNE luminous deffence, sos yar"

"Rha yi kar shi yatse gran dus me a se"

Excute luminous defence; please protect them," "With my power of grandeur, I shall…"

With her hymn, the group left an energy pumping through their bodies.

"Let's go then!" Ruka smiled.

Shie imitated Kanda's mugen…except that it could extend like Lavi's hammer.

"What sort of weapon is THAT?!" Kanda and Lavi said simultaneously.

"Shut up. Fight."

And so, the battle began.


End file.
